We all want to live not only longer, but better. This month, Dr Harper invites you to check on your male partner during Men’s Health Month to help him overcome any intimacy issues in the bedroom.
June is Men’s Health Month so I thought it was a good time to talk about something that many women may have quietly noticed as their partners age but might not know how to address: when intimacy changes, and not by choice.
If your partner has become hesitant in the bedroom or avoids physical affection, it may not be a reflection of how he feels about you. He may be struggling with erectile dysfunction, as half of men over 40 do.
Difficulty getting or keeping an erection – a condition known as erectile dysfunction (ED) – is far more common than many realise, and while it can be frustrating, awkward, or even heartbreaking, the good news is that it’s treatable.
Viagra and similar medications have long been the go-to solution, but not every man can (or wants to) take them. Some experience side effects such as headaches or flushing, while others have medical conditions that rule them out altogether.
Thankfully, modern medicine has come a long way, and these days there are new, clinically backed ways to tackle ED without having to take a little blue pill.
If ED is affecting your relationship, you’re not alone, and it’s not something you have to put up with. Many men are reluctant to talk about it, but by gently encouraging solutions, you can help your partner regain his confidence, and bring the intimacy back into your relationship.
These Viagra-free options offer real, clinically backed alternatives. So, if you’ve noticed a change in the bedroom, now might be the time to explore new solutions, together. If your partner doesn’t want to consider medications or treatment, please encourage him to see his GP to get his blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels checked as ED can be a warning sign of problems with blood vessels in other parts of the body too.
5 alternative treatments for erectile dysfunction
There are ways to help your partner — and get your relationship back on track.
- Vertica therapy
Think of Vertica as a high-tech facial for erectile tissue – but instead of wrinkles, it’s restoring function and firmness. This home-use device resembles a games console and uses radiofrequency (RF) energy to stimulate collagen and circulation, helping to restore natural erectile function over time. It’s discreet, completely pain-free, and backed by early research where 85 per cent of men saw promising results in the first month, with improvements maintained for at least six months after treatment.
Pros: Drug-free, pain-free, home use, addresses the root cause of ED, backed by clinical research.
Cons: Requires regular use, newer technology, initial cost investment.
Cost: Around £1,275 for the device.
Find out more: vertica-labs.com.
2. Shockwave therapy
The aim of this treatment is to improve blood flow to the penis and potentially enable stronger, longer-lasting erections. Low-intensity sound waves are used to stimulate blood vessel growth in the penis and improve blood supply, restoring natural function over time and stimulating the formation of new blood vessels. This allows the patient to get spontaneous erections, without timing the treatment prior to sexual activity.
However, treatment takes place in specialised clinics, which requires scheduling appointments and thus the waiving of discretion. Also, it will not help in cases where ED is caused due to degenerative changes in collagen fibres, a leading cause of ED. Treatment success rates are approximately 65-75 per cent.
Pros: Non-invasive, no medication needed, long-term benefits, moderate impact.
Cons: Requires multiple sessions, results vary.
Cost: £1,500–£3,000 for a full course.
Find out more: mansmatters.co.uk.
3. Eroxon Stimgel
If your partner wants an on-the-spot solution without taking tablets, Eroxon could help. Recently launched in the UK, this over-the-counter gel works by rapidly increasing blood flow to the penis when applied. Unlike Viagra, it’s absorbed through the skin, reducing the chance of side effects.
Applied topically to the head (glans) of the penis, Eroxon gel delivers a rapid cooling followed by a gradual warming effect, which stimulates the nerve endings of the glans, helping men to get an erection within 10 minutes of application.
Pros: Quick-acting, no prescription needed, minimal side effects.
Cons: Needs to be applied before sex, not a long-term fix.
Cost: £18.45.
Find out more: eroxon.co.uk.
4. Lifestyle changes
While age is a factor in ED, carrying extra weight, high blood pressure, smoking, and even too much stress can all make it worse.
Studies show that losing just 5-10 per cent of body weight, improving diet, and doing regular exercise can make a real difference. Encourage your partner to eat heart-healthy foods like beetroot, leafy greens, and watermelon, which naturally boost nitric oxide – the same compound that the little blue pill enhances.
Pros: No cost, improves overall health, long-term benefits.
Cons: Requires commitment.
Cost: Free.
5. Therapy
For some men, the problem isn’t just physical, it’s psychological. Performance anxiety, stress, and even past trauma can contribute to ED. The more he worries about it, the worse it can get, leading to a vicious cycle.
Counselling, whether with a therapist or a men’s health specialist, can help address the root cause of anxiety-linked ED. Couples therapy can also help open up conversations, making it easier to support each other.
Pros: Addresses emotional barriers, long-term results.
Cons: Can take time, not a quick fix.
Cost: £50-£100 per session (some NHS options available).
